Monday, October 15, 2012
Let go and let God...
Today is one of those regular days....you know, everything is just "normal." My students come to class, we go through the motions, everyone participates...they blow me away with their responses to "would you rather" journaling which leads to an in depth discussion.
However, it's at the end of the day when I finally exhale from what seems like the breath I've been holding all day, I realize (although my husband hates this expression) that it IS just too much! There's too much paperwork, too many folders, too many responsibilities, too many meetings and I have just much on my plate that it's crumbling to the ground.
It only takes a phone call from some one you love more than life itself to put everything back in perspective. Cancer is a word I never thought would be a part of my "story." No matter how small, what type, when or where....cancer is NEVER a good thing. So now the mounds of paper work seem so trivial, the craptastic mess of a classroom can wait....for now, what really matters are the people in your life and how much they mean to you. You are never promised tomorrow, but God's many blessings come in the form of another human being that changes your life forever. I'm no where near strong enough to handle this on my own...so I'm letting go and letting God.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Sometimes it's just too much....
So everyone has their limits, right? You know, that point where you can no longer take it....the ice starts to crack and before you know it, you've lost it?
It is in these moments when I want someone to reach to, to pick me up, because usually these moments happen when I am completely alone.
So the preview to my breakdown went something like this:
1.) Woke up at 2:48 am
2.) Got punched by my husband (in his sleep) because I decided I would try sleeping in the other direction
3.) I woke up 45 minutes late
4.) I left for church 20 minutes late
5.) My car was on "E"
6.) I forgot my phone
7.) I rode into Kernersville on fumes
8.) Migraines start tempting me
9.) I practically fall off the piano bench at church from the dizziness and heat of the lights
10.) I messed up the band, the invitation and the singers 3 times in a row
AND THEN I BROKE....
Fortunately it's in those moments that God chooses to carry us...for I couldn't have made it home without Him...and He played a song just for me...
It is in these moments when I want someone to reach to, to pick me up, because usually these moments happen when I am completely alone.
So the preview to my breakdown went something like this:
1.) Woke up at 2:48 am
2.) Got punched by my husband (in his sleep) because I decided I would try sleeping in the other direction
3.) I woke up 45 minutes late
4.) I left for church 20 minutes late
5.) My car was on "E"
6.) I forgot my phone
7.) I rode into Kernersville on fumes
8.) Migraines start tempting me
9.) I practically fall off the piano bench at church from the dizziness and heat of the lights
10.) I messed up the band, the invitation and the singers 3 times in a row
AND THEN I BROKE....
Fortunately it's in those moments that God chooses to carry us...for I couldn't have made it home without Him...and He played a song just for me...
Friday, March 2, 2012
Total Randomness of the day....
1. It's Dr. Seuss' birthday, but he IS NOT alive
2. Substitute teachers over the age of 80 need not apply
3. The most enjoyable moment of the day was 6th graders obsessed with the pilot episode of the sit-com series, "ThomaSneed!"
4. Sometimes ignoring people doesn't make them go away
5. There are certain times and places for the F bomb. Before 10 am is totally unacceptable.
GOOD DAY AND GOD SPEED!
2. Substitute teachers over the age of 80 need not apply
3. The most enjoyable moment of the day was 6th graders obsessed with the pilot episode of the sit-com series, "ThomaSneed!"
4. Sometimes ignoring people doesn't make them go away
5. There are certain times and places for the F bomb. Before 10 am is totally unacceptable.
GOOD DAY AND GOD SPEED!
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
"Craptastic" in "Crazytown"
So, yes...I apparently talk to myself outloud in front of my students, and apparently they are listening when you think they don't pay attention!!
So the topic is author's purpose and we're throwing out what Mrs. Sneed's purpose is in teaching this class....to persuade, inform or entertain? While everyone agreed a teacher's job is to inform, my students jumped on the "Mrs. Sneed is the whole PIE!" train.... she does ALL three!!! I smile, take a little bow and then one of my beautiful students says "Mrs. Sneed you're just craptastic!" (a word I have been using lately to desrible my fumbles and mess)...and of course I'm shocked...and the whole class goes "ooooooohhhhh" (you know, like you're in big trouble mister)...and I simply reply "you know, I'm probably the only teacher you have that won't write you up for saying that to a teacher!!"...to which he replies, "Oh, I know Mrs. Sneed, because you live in crazytown (a term I use for the address of my classroom)...and you are crazy, but in a good way (also a phrase I said WAYYYYYY back at the beginning of the year)!"
So it was a craptastic day in crazytown...but it's all good....
On another note....getting your "fro" cut after a year of nothing....equals losing about 5 pounds....but most important to remember is...curly hair SHRINKS when it dries!! Cut one inch when wet is 3 inches when dry = I might be Shirley Temple in the morning!
So the topic is author's purpose and we're throwing out what Mrs. Sneed's purpose is in teaching this class....to persuade, inform or entertain? While everyone agreed a teacher's job is to inform, my students jumped on the "Mrs. Sneed is the whole PIE!" train.... she does ALL three!!! I smile, take a little bow and then one of my beautiful students says "Mrs. Sneed you're just craptastic!" (a word I have been using lately to desrible my fumbles and mess)...and of course I'm shocked...and the whole class goes "ooooooohhhhh" (you know, like you're in big trouble mister)...and I simply reply "you know, I'm probably the only teacher you have that won't write you up for saying that to a teacher!!"...to which he replies, "Oh, I know Mrs. Sneed, because you live in crazytown (a term I use for the address of my classroom)...and you are crazy, but in a good way (also a phrase I said WAYYYYYY back at the beginning of the year)!"
So it was a craptastic day in crazytown...but it's all good....
On another note....getting your "fro" cut after a year of nothing....equals losing about 5 pounds....but most important to remember is...curly hair SHRINKS when it dries!! Cut one inch when wet is 3 inches when dry = I might be Shirley Temple in the morning!
Friday, February 3, 2012
Randomness...
Thank God it's Friday....this week, as usual was full of craziness!!! Lots of great blessings and random "crazytown" moments...
1.) My students, along with my parter in 6th Grade Language Arts, Ms. Thomas' students jumped up 9% from 1st quarter :-)
2.) I have reduced my Diet Mt. Dew intake by 50%
3.) I had my first subpoena to court...and I feel like a celebrity..lol
4.) 6th graders still apparently LOVE to play leap frog, but look quite akward by trying to "step it up a notch" :-0
5.) Cruise control in the rain IS really not a good idea
6.) Having a professor that is younger than you is NOT a good thing
7.) When communicating over important issues...there should be a 24 hour return rule!!
1.) My students, along with my parter in 6th Grade Language Arts, Ms. Thomas' students jumped up 9% from 1st quarter :-)
2.) I have reduced my Diet Mt. Dew intake by 50%
3.) I had my first subpoena to court...and I feel like a celebrity..lol
4.) 6th graders still apparently LOVE to play leap frog, but look quite akward by trying to "step it up a notch" :-0
5.) Cruise control in the rain IS really not a good idea
6.) Having a professor that is younger than you is NOT a good thing
7.) When communicating over important issues...there should be a 24 hour return rule!!
Sunday, January 29, 2012
To be or not to be....Meredith, the author?
So secretly...since 2004 and facing the reality that I might just die (which I did not...lol), and taking a journey in life I could have never predicted, I wished for the opportunity to write a book. I guess I felt like I had to be "formally" asked to write a book....but after discovering websites that offer anyone, from the most wealthy of writers, to a first grader learning to write a sentence...the chance to publish their own book, I decided to get started. I am writing a book that will hopefully help someone who has had marital problems, infertility problems, or anyone who has hit rock bottom and thinks there is no way out. As a middle school teacher, I "edutain" my students to love the world of reading for at least 180 days a year...and thus the inspiration for my second endeavor: a series of books for adolescents. So, just to get a little feedback, I've posted some snippets from both books...so let me know what you think. To be or not to be...an author?
"The Power of No"
Book dedication:
I have been blessed in so many ways, but more than any other are these: my first husband mentally and emotionally abused me for years, he cheated on me and threw our marriage away, he took from me the ability to have a child that is biologically mine, he left me completely broke and alone and for that, I am the wealthiest woman in the world. For it is because of those blessings, I am now the happiest I could ever imagine, I am loved by my new husband more than I could ever deserve, and I am the stepmother of a beautiful daughter, who shares my curls, my creativity and love for an amazing man that makes us smile every day. I will forever be grateful to God for the amazing, painful and broken journey that lead to an incredible, unbelievable destination. It is to my new husband, my soul mate and best friend for life, that I dedicate this book. You are more to me than you can ever know. God gave me you and you are the greatest gift I could ever receive.
Excerpt from chapter 1:
I can recall the moment it all became clear to me. I’m sitting in one of those tacky pink vinyl chairs in the Woman’s Center of Forsyth Hospital. In fact, I still can’t sit or even stand the sight of those “wanna be” leather chairs. But back to my “clear” moment…it’s July 21st of 2004, I’ve been married a little over 4 years, I’ve purchased my first home, and I’ve spent the last year of my life on fertility treatments and yet it’s just now that I’ve come to realize that my husband doesn’t love me. Yes, maybe he cares a little, but when it all comes down to it, he really doesn’t nor has he ever loved me.
Looking back now, that “clear” moment is actually quite humorous. I had just come out of a laparoscopy and exploratory surgery, I’d spent maybe thirty minutes in recovery, and I was in horrible pain and extremely nauseous. However, the surgery was outpatient, and apparently it was time for me to get out! I just don’t think my body was ready for that decision. I was extremely lightheaded, pale and in quite a deal of pain, but I was expected to get dressed and out the door on my own. My body apparently started speaking on its own when I dropped to the bottom of the dressing room and began to cry for my mother.
Isn’t funny…no matter how old you are, you never get too old to want your mommy, and my mother is of the best. She was right there in a second; she helped me back into my clothes but she a had a word or two for those nurses: I wasn’t leaving. I needed to sit down and get some “color” back in me. That’s where the chair comes into play; I sit back, it throws me into full position, and I’m sure I looked like I was ready to meet the queen! It’s at that moment my husband decides to enter the scene. He’s all polished in his chino shorts, Hawaiian shirt and slicked back hair. He takes his normal “cool” stance: arms crossed, and leaning back on the wall like it should be honored to hold up such a man as he. But then, quicker than a bolt of lightning, he takes one look at my pale, post surgery expression and BAM! He passes out right there in the recovery room of Forsyth Hospital! All the nurses, along with my mom, turn from helping me and rush to the only man within a one mile radius. They’re hollering things like “we got a man down” and “quick get me some smelling salts!” I immediately think “what about me? Isn’t this the women’s center? He doesn’t have a uterus, I DO!!” However, the only thing I can physically do is LAUGH OUTLOUD, which automatically brings my mom’s attention back to me. I can tell by the expression on her face that she thinks my laughing is inappropriate, but laughing is contagious, and within seconds…she’s laughing too. Only what she can’t see is the pictures and emotions running through my brain that have brought me to this moment.
Middle School (otherwise known as "The Worst Three Years of My Simple Life)
Excerpt from Chapter 1:
It was the summer before my sixth grade year. I clearly remember because that was the summer all the girls started wearing cute polka dotted or striped bikinis, and I was still stuck in the ugly Wal-mart one piece my mom bought me back in the “after summer” sale. It was this ugly shade of orange that was just bright enough to make me and my big fat self stand out from everyone at the Farm Hill Golf Club swimming pool. My mom got us a membership every summer, but this summer was the first year I didn’t want to go at all! But, you guessed it…my mom made me go, and not only that, but she but she had bought this purple roll on sunscreen that only made me stand out even more. Anyways, I had just gotten out of school 3 weeks earlier and I really wanted to see my friends from school, but not in the orange suit, and not with the purple sunscreen. Had I known what was going to happen later, I’d trade it for living my whole sixth grade year in that suit and sunscreen. That’s definitely better than being nicknamed “floater”, and no, it’s not what you think!
I can't believe I'm about to "publish" this post...it might be deleted by tomorrow :P
"The Power of No"
Book dedication:
I have been blessed in so many ways, but more than any other are these: my first husband mentally and emotionally abused me for years, he cheated on me and threw our marriage away, he took from me the ability to have a child that is biologically mine, he left me completely broke and alone and for that, I am the wealthiest woman in the world. For it is because of those blessings, I am now the happiest I could ever imagine, I am loved by my new husband more than I could ever deserve, and I am the stepmother of a beautiful daughter, who shares my curls, my creativity and love for an amazing man that makes us smile every day. I will forever be grateful to God for the amazing, painful and broken journey that lead to an incredible, unbelievable destination. It is to my new husband, my soul mate and best friend for life, that I dedicate this book. You are more to me than you can ever know. God gave me you and you are the greatest gift I could ever receive.
Excerpt from chapter 1:
I can recall the moment it all became clear to me. I’m sitting in one of those tacky pink vinyl chairs in the Woman’s Center of Forsyth Hospital. In fact, I still can’t sit or even stand the sight of those “wanna be” leather chairs. But back to my “clear” moment…it’s July 21st of 2004, I’ve been married a little over 4 years, I’ve purchased my first home, and I’ve spent the last year of my life on fertility treatments and yet it’s just now that I’ve come to realize that my husband doesn’t love me. Yes, maybe he cares a little, but when it all comes down to it, he really doesn’t nor has he ever loved me.
Looking back now, that “clear” moment is actually quite humorous. I had just come out of a laparoscopy and exploratory surgery, I’d spent maybe thirty minutes in recovery, and I was in horrible pain and extremely nauseous. However, the surgery was outpatient, and apparently it was time for me to get out! I just don’t think my body was ready for that decision. I was extremely lightheaded, pale and in quite a deal of pain, but I was expected to get dressed and out the door on my own. My body apparently started speaking on its own when I dropped to the bottom of the dressing room and began to cry for my mother.
Isn’t funny…no matter how old you are, you never get too old to want your mommy, and my mother is of the best. She was right there in a second; she helped me back into my clothes but she a had a word or two for those nurses: I wasn’t leaving. I needed to sit down and get some “color” back in me. That’s where the chair comes into play; I sit back, it throws me into full position, and I’m sure I looked like I was ready to meet the queen! It’s at that moment my husband decides to enter the scene. He’s all polished in his chino shorts, Hawaiian shirt and slicked back hair. He takes his normal “cool” stance: arms crossed, and leaning back on the wall like it should be honored to hold up such a man as he. But then, quicker than a bolt of lightning, he takes one look at my pale, post surgery expression and BAM! He passes out right there in the recovery room of Forsyth Hospital! All the nurses, along with my mom, turn from helping me and rush to the only man within a one mile radius. They’re hollering things like “we got a man down” and “quick get me some smelling salts!” I immediately think “what about me? Isn’t this the women’s center? He doesn’t have a uterus, I DO!!” However, the only thing I can physically do is LAUGH OUTLOUD, which automatically brings my mom’s attention back to me. I can tell by the expression on her face that she thinks my laughing is inappropriate, but laughing is contagious, and within seconds…she’s laughing too. Only what she can’t see is the pictures and emotions running through my brain that have brought me to this moment.
Middle School (otherwise known as "The Worst Three Years of My Simple Life)
Excerpt from Chapter 1:
It was the summer before my sixth grade year. I clearly remember because that was the summer all the girls started wearing cute polka dotted or striped bikinis, and I was still stuck in the ugly Wal-mart one piece my mom bought me back in the “after summer” sale. It was this ugly shade of orange that was just bright enough to make me and my big fat self stand out from everyone at the Farm Hill Golf Club swimming pool. My mom got us a membership every summer, but this summer was the first year I didn’t want to go at all! But, you guessed it…my mom made me go, and not only that, but she but she had bought this purple roll on sunscreen that only made me stand out even more. Anyways, I had just gotten out of school 3 weeks earlier and I really wanted to see my friends from school, but not in the orange suit, and not with the purple sunscreen. Had I known what was going to happen later, I’d trade it for living my whole sixth grade year in that suit and sunscreen. That’s definitely better than being nicknamed “floater”, and no, it’s not what you think!
I can't believe I'm about to "publish" this post...it might be deleted by tomorrow :P
It's about time....
OK....so it's only been 3 years since my last blog....but I am back and intend to make blogging a regular part of my life. Reading others' blogs has made me smile, cry and even motivated me to change my life for the better. I am currently working with my 6th graders on writing and what better example of how writing can be used in your everyday life than a blog??? So cross your fingers and hope for the best!!!
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